Fill in the form for our free practical guide to answering this loaded couple question.
It’s funny the little things that make or break relationships. Okay, so no-one gets it right all the time and as John’s song shows, there’s a lot of humour in the natural gulf between the way men and women look at the world.
We’ve used the example of Does My Bum Look Big In This? to show you how to get behind the words of this loaded couple question and understand what she really means and what he can say.
Men – how can you answer this explosive couple question?
Do you go cold all over just thinking about it? Perhaps you dread getting ready to go out because she might just ask you something about the way she looks? Maybe you avoid shopping with her to duck this potential landmine? Or do you simply give a mental shrug and give up because of the impossibility of understanding women?
The first thing you have to understand is whether you are having a practical conversation or an emotional one. Lost already? Are you any good at picking up emotional hints? Because if she is really after reassurance that you fancy her, despite the extra weight that has crept on somehow, this isn’t a time to apply plain logic or to pick apart what you think she meant from the words she used. ‘Yes’ is definitely the wrong answer and so is a glib ‘You always look wonderful, darling.’
Paying attention to the small stuff really can make a difference and earn you lots of brownie points. And we all know where brownie points get you , don’t we?
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Women – what do you really want to hear when you ask this sensitive couple question?
We know you may not be asking your man if your bum looks big. BUT - are you putting him on the spot by asking him questions about the way you look, when he has no clue how to answer?
Without being clear what you really need from him, you could be setting him up to fail.
The result is likely to be more than just your disappointment that he can’t help you. When all you needed was his reassurance that you’re looking good, or a bit of practical advice on what to wear or not wear.
We call these the ‘Big Bum’ questions – you know the ones!
They create a relationship minefield, because there’s nothing more sensitive to you than your body image, and nothing more worrying to him than not understanding what it is you really want from him!
But why would you risk creating a rift of misunderstanding, when every interaction has the chance to deepen your connection.
At last help is at hand
‘Does My Bum Look Big In This?’ is a practical guide for turning ‘Big Bum’ questions into pure gold. Men, never be afraid again!!
Our route map through the minefield, gives you some simple questions to ask, so you can find out just what she means – and more importantly how you can answer her. Getting this right could earn you plenty of Brownie points. (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge!)
This handbook is something you can work through together and check out your own particular pitfalls and how to avoid them. Learn how to use simple questions to check out assumptions and share conversations on an emotional level.
This is so useful we have been told it should be sold for thousands of pounds. Well okay, thousands may be a slight exaggeration though you should set it against the cost of the ruined outings caused by getting the answer wrong. Or even worse the failure of the relationship, with all that might entail. But that’s all immaterial anyway, because we are going to give it away – at least for the time being!!!
Complete the box on the right and download your FREE copy right now
You might be wondering why it’s free? Well quite simply we’ve seen many couples come to us for help when it’s really too late. If only they had paid more attention while they were both in love. Perhaps they were already persuaded that good relationships are worth working at – they just didn’t know how.
We understand the natural reluctance to ask for help with something as personal as the intimate relationship with a life partner. So for some time now we have looked for ways to package our experience into online help that people can download and use in the privacy of their own home.
We write a free monthly email newsletter, Relationship News and Views, packed with information, hints and tips.
We are planning more online work programmes and e-books. Our next project is about arguments and how to make them productive instead of destructive.
All of this is pointless unless we can share it with more people. Our motivation for giving away Does My Bum Look Big In This? is that we’ll also keep you posted with our latest thoughts through Relationship News and Views. If you know people who you think would benefit from learning more about relationships, please pass it on.